[Just gonna ignore that question about deflection.]

You were also so invested in the idea of seeing me in that shirt you picked out earlier you tried to fence me into a store, so like, I'm just saying. The chocolate-gifting equivalent of that would be if I pried your mouth open and tried to force feed you like we were playing a reenactment of Se7en and you ended up being the poor fuck to get stuck with the role of Gluttony, so.

[Fuck you, it totally counts.]