relaxfriend | IC Inbox for soulgemmed

[Gary inspects the poster. He immediately doesn't think it's going to be any good but Dave has always been receptive to his constant shit talking of a movie, unlike most people who just tell him to shut up because for whatever reason they enjoy drivel. Maybe he wont get so antsy during it.]

Wow, it looks like trash. Perfect.

[That is indeed a "yes".]

[Heck yes.

It doesn't take long for Dave to secure two tickets for the two of them, and when they take their seats and the movie starts, it isn't even a few minutes in before they're ripping into everything. The melodramatic acting, the lines, the special effects... The people in the seats near them shoot them pointed glares and shhhh loudly at the, but they don't pay it much mind.

The first half of the movie is pretty weird for what looked from its poster to be a monster flick; the main character ends up trapped in an elevator with amnesia, then ends up dialing every number in her phone's contact list for someone who can help her. To her great confusion, each and every last person who answers the phone reacts with increasing schadenfreude when they hear about their situation, and not a single one wants to help her.

Turns out she probably wasn't the nicest person before she hit her head and lost her memories.

As the movie goes on, the plot takes a turn for the conspiratorial; vague allusions to scientific experimentation are made, until - right when it seemed like the movie would end without any trace of a monster on-screen - a grotesque rat finally makes its entrance, chewing its way into the elevator from above. It immediately sets to attacking her, chomping away at her arm as she shrieks and tries to bat it away.

Dave quirks his brows.]

Holy shit.

[It started off good. Not the movie, but the act of sitting down and watching the horrible performances and picking apart the plot holes. It wasn't until the scene where the protagonist is calling a bunch of people who refuse to help her...apparently she was too shitty for their delicate sensibilities. He couldn't shake the thoughts creeping into his head about his dreams...being stuck in Happy Volts, no one - not even his own parents giving half a shit. Because they didn't like the kind of person he turned out to be.

It's fine, though, because he didn't have too long to dwell on that when a disgusting rat-creature attacked the women. Chomping away on her arm isn't really what bothers him, but that nasty...obviously germ infested thing...ugh. He can't help but imagine how infected your arm would probably get from just a scratch from those yellow, bloody teeth. That thing probably lives in shit and eats trash when its not snacking on people...

Gary brings a hand to his mouth...casually, to stave off the impending nausea. Not that it works. Wow that person who just stood up off to the side is way more interesting than the shitshow going on before him. Disgusting. Disgusting.]

Lame...

[Yeah...yeah that's what it is. Lame.]

Yeah, the science-experiment-gone-wrong plotline's pretty overdone in monster movies nowadays, huh.

[Guess who doesn't pick up on any of Gary's discomfort? This guy. As far as he's concerned, this is just a continuation of them ripping into a shitty movie.]

I'll give 'em points for using a rat, though. Don't think I've heard of any other movie doing that.

With good reason...gross.

[How could someone manage to make a rat even more disgusting? The more of the creature that gets revealed, the more Gary's face scrunches up in disgust.

He glances over at Dave, considering if he should just talk about how crap the movie is so they could leave. But they always sit through crap moves. It would look-

-why does he give a shit what it looks like to Dave?

As if disgusted with that thought in of itself, he turns back to the movie and decides he's not about to let some B-rated horror movie make him run. It's not like it's a real rat. Jesus.

But if that isn't the grossest thing...]

She better cut off that arm if she makes it through this.

[That arm is never going to be clean again.]

[Dave laughs; not at Gary, but because he legitimately thinks Gary is just making a joke - and a pretty funny one to boot.

On-screen, the protagonist suddenly realizes that she has a lighter on her and, brandishing it at the rat with her other arm, manages to light it on fire. It lets out an unearthly shriek, then reels back and falls through a hole in the elevator.

Shortly after, help finally arrives from outside, and the protagonist faints as she's wheeled away to safety. The credits begin to play.]

Man. That's it? Typically if you're gonna advertise a movie as a monster movie, I feel like your audience's gonna expect the monster to be in the thing for longer than five minutes.

[Was it really that short of an appearance? Because it had felt like forever that he was forced to stare at that horrendous thing. By the time the credits are rolling Gary is fighting back a wave of nausea again.]

As far as I'm concerned that woman is dead. All those...disgusting rat germs that probably evolved into some gross...super form are going to burrow into her arm and through the rest of her.

[He just...he can't not think about it. He fights back a gag, unable to be so casual about the back of his hand covering his mouth. Right now he's focused on not blowing chunks all over the place like some kind of loser.]

[Dave lets out another laugh.]

What happened to just cutting that arm off?

[Then, tearing his eyes away from the screen to look in Gary's direction, Dave finally takes notice of the hand Gary's placed over his mouth. His smile fades away, and slight look of concern replaces it.]

Dude, are you feeling okay?

[Gary takes a moment to answer. Unfortunately getting his mind off that disgusting creature was difficult. He wondered how many rats ran through this very theater, how many of them climbed on to these seats, took their little rat dumps in the cup holders...

...He stands up, hand now moving to his stomach as he looks over at Dave. He takes a deep breath...]

I feel like I'm going hurl, numb-nuts.

[But he knows he's not. He's not. He just has to...breath deeper. Yeah, that's what he has to do.]

Just thinking about that thing...

[Dave's eyes widen in surprise. Shit. He shouldn't have taken him to see this movie after all, but... Gary's never displayed any signs of being queasy about this sort of thing before. They'd watched their fair share of grotesque and gory movies during Halloween, and Gary didn't seem to be particularly bothered by any of them.]

Uh, okay, should I-- [He briefly reaches a hand towards Gary, then remembers; no, stupid, you can't touch him. You literally just went went through this.

Instead, he looks around for anything that he may be able to use. Spotting an empty popcorn bag left discarded on a nearby seat, he quickly flashsteps towards it, nabs it, and then flashsteps back to hold it out awkwardly in front of himself.]

[Gary scowls at the offered bag as if it had just personally offended him.]

I don't need--

[God, with all the discarded crap there's no way there weren't rats crawling all over this floor in the off hours. That bag alone is probably teeming with gross germs.

Oh god...]

No. Do you know how many rats probably walk all over these floors? Anything that touches them should be burned. Get that away from me.

[In fact, he turns and desperately tries to escape the isle. Luckily people cleared out quick enough that he doesn't have to worry about bumping into them. He's just going to...lean against the wall just outside the theater. It's mostly out of pride he keeps telling himself he's not going to barf.]

[Oh... Well then. Dave lets the bag drop from his hand and, making sure to pick up the macarons on his way out, flashsteps out after Gary.

He really isn't looking so hot. He can understand why Gary wouldn't want to barf in someone else's discarded bag, though; who the fuck knows where that thing's been? He's just gonna have to note that for later; Gary's fussy about germs, got it. Maybe he could find something cleaner.]

Are you sure you-- [Wait. "Do you know how many rats probably walk all over these floors?"]

...You're scared of rats?

[At that ridiculous question Gary looks up with a glare, still using one arm to keep himself up.]

Not scared, moron. Disgusted. Why wouldn't you be? They carry disease and burrow into your walls and track shit everywhere...

[Kay, he's going to stop talking now.]

Yeah, I guess... They're pretty gross.

[Dave awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck a little, inwardly cringing.]

Man, my bad. If I'd known, I wouldn't have taken you to see that movie.

The one movie in existence with...

[Okay, you know what? He's not going to finish that thought. Because if he finishes that thought he's going to hurl.]

Ugh...

[He wants to go home. He wants to go home and throw up and take a stupid nap or something. But he can't go showing weakness like that so he just...straightens up...smooths over his jacket...straightens collar.

He still looks kinda shit but he's just going to take one least breath and...]

Let's go.

[Not because he's sick or anything nah.]

[Slight concern is still written on his face when Gary straightens himself up, but Dave doesn't say anything about it. He'll just walk few steps behind Gary and keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't look like he's in any immediate danger of keeling over or anything.

Once they do reach Gary's house, though, Dave has to admit to feeling a little disappointed that it was already over.]

So, uh. Today was... [He feels like "fun" might not be the word to use when their outing managed to go horrendously wrong in so many ways, but...]

Maybe we could do it again sometime.

[At least getting out of that packed mall and into the fresh hair seemed to do him wonders. It helps that he eventually was able to banish every single thought of that movie from his mind. At least for now. He had been busy reflecting on the day he just had...because while Dave making an ass out of himself was nothing out of the ordinary that whole incident in the clothing shop changed how Gary perceived the two of them.

He's ready to just go inside, but Dave is talking.

"Maybe we could do it again sometime"

Sometimes Dave was just asking for it, he swears. Gary fully turns back towards Dave, looking almost exasperated. Maybe he was just tired but he couldn't manage a full on look of incredulity this time.]

Seriously, Dave. Now you're really making it sound like a date.

What-- [Oh goddammit.]

That's not gonna magically become more true the more times you say it.

[So stop saying it already. It doesn't even bother him.]

[...Okay fine it bothers him a little.]

It was a legit question.

[Just have the most unimpressed look Gary can muster, Dave. He can't believe you're calling that a "legit question". Or maybe he can. Maybe he should expect something so dumb coming out of your mouth. Dave Strider, you are the biggest loser he has ever met.]

[And because of that he can't help but burst out into laughter. If Gary didn't know how deep Dave's river of denial ran Gary would be offended that he thought he could stand there and bullshit to him as often as he does. He would be offended that someone could have so little grasp of human interaction that they thought any of the things Dave says or does are considered "legit".]

--Dave, hahaha!

[Cackling.mp3]

[Only Gary Smith can inspire the weirdest combination of embarrassed, outraged, and genuinely hurt in Dave Strider.]

Okay, fine, you know what? Forget I asked.

[And the power he has to inspire such things puts a smile on his face.]

Dude, relax. Why are you so bent out of shape?

[A tiny prick of unease hits him as he considers Gary's question (because knowing Gary "I'm not" would probably just inspire more laughter), and he decides he doesn't care to think about it.]

'Cause you don't know when to give the joke a rest, dude.

[Clearly.]

[It's kind of too bad because Gary laughs again anyway, but at least this time it's more of a snicker. He turns to walk into his house, stopping right at the door before turning back again.]

Word of advice, Dave. Remember those flashing neon signs we talked about? I'd work on them.

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