relaxfriend | IC Inbox for soulgemmed

i dunno what makes you think im not actively in the process of being relaxed right now man
sinking so deep into a comfyass recliner youre gonna need a spatula to pry me loose
treading so far into chill zone i make the northern parts of canada look like the goddamn tropics
im plenty relaxed alright

LOL Dave.
Dave seriously.

It's ME.

[You can't lie to him Dave it's impossible.]

yeah well fuck you

[wait fuck he probably shouldn't say that if he doesn't want to open himself up to that joke again]

like this isnt the exact level of unchill you were trying to fish outta me anyway
congrats you got it

That's a horrible accusation.
I'm just joking around with you. That's what FRIENDS do. Chill.

[Thank you for lifting his mood, Dave. Even if only a little.]

Anyway I need to talk to you about something. Are you done being a spaz? It's important.

[...............ugh, he guesses.]

yeah sure what is it

[Don't be such a bitch, Dave.]

Do you remember a while ago I told you about these two traitorous shitheels I went to school with?

yeah
why

One of them is here. And in his stupid, delusional, mind he's somehow convinced everything that ever went down between us was my fault.

[IT WAS, GARY.]

He's crazy and he's pissed off at me. So don't believe anything some chucklefuck named "Jimmy" tells you if you have the incredible misfortune of speaking with him.

In fact just stay the hell away from him and walk in the opposite direction if you see a neanderthal looking teenager lumbering around dragging his knuckles on the floor because he'll probably tackle you if you so much as look at him funny.

whoa wait slow down
is this a thing that just now happened??
him being here i mean and i guess you running into him

[a beat, and he adds:]

are you ok right now
like are you safe
he didnt try anything did he

I ran into him the same day I came back. He said he had just got there.

[God, Dave.]

He very nearly tried to knock my block off but I talked him down. He's strong but luckily he's dumb.

I talked him into a sort of...truce, for now. But we were friends once and I couldn't trust him then so who the fuck knows what that means.

Anyway, like I said, just stay away from him.

[This is honestly really annoying. Upsetting. Infuriating. In some strange turn of events Gary actually ended up trusting Dave. But even so, Petey pretty much followed Gary around everywhere until Jimmy showed up and he managed to sink his hooks into him. While he's aware it's extremely unlikely with Dave...

...As much as he hates to admit it, it's a concern. Why? Hell if he knows. Ever since Gary met Dave he's had to deal with a ton of shit, which Dave sometimes just went and made worse. Is the fact that he has his unwavering support important enough that he willingly let that all slide and continues to hang out with him? Maybe it's because, to Gary, that's like finding a fucking unicorn that shits rainbows. But why the hell should he care about this rarity when it's proven to be only semi beneficial? He calls him friend a little too easily these days. Is he starting to mean that?

Nah, nope. Dave is still useful in a way. That's what it is.]

But keep an ear out because he might be talking shit.

[...ok, all of this is really concerning.]

youve got it dude
but just so you know im still pretty handy with a sword and shit
like that hasnt stopped being a thing while you were away or anything
so you dont gotta worry about him beating me up or anything
i bet i could take him
and
maybe even get him off your back if you wanted??
but if this is a thing youd rather figure out on your own i get it its cool
im here for you man thats all im saying

[How easy it would be to just say, "yeah he's super dangerous and tried to kill me run a sword through his stupid face". But that would be a waste.]

I don't doubt that. But it's complicated.

His back is kind of up against the wall anyway. He has no idea how any of this crap works and I'm the only one he's familiar with here who does.

I guess I just needed to let you know.

[Whoa...that sounded fucking pathetic. Fuck this situation for making him act like a panicky fool. Fuck Jimmy Hopkins.]

Just in case he goes crazy or something.

yeah its cool
it sucks youre dealing with this shit again
if theres anything i can do just lemme know
you know youve always got me in your corner

[Gary literally types and deletes this 15 times.]

thanks.

[He couldn't even, in all good conscience, capitalize it. In fact as soon as he hit send he threw the phone down as if it were full of germs.

Yeah he's probably going to step away from his phone for a bit and go bash his fingers with a hammer for texting such a thing seriously.]

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