Gary Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
relaxfriend) wrote2015-10-16 11:36 pm
relaxfriend) wrote2015-10-16 11:36 pm
IC Inbox for ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
soulgemmed
TEXT⚡AUDIO⚡VIDEO⚡Mirrors⚡Direct Messaging
IC Inbox for
TEXT⚡AUDIO⚡VIDEO⚡Mirrors⚡Direct Messaging
TEXT⚡AUDIO⚡VIDEO⚡Mirrors⚡Direct Messaging
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1/2
haha the feeling is mutual asshole
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so anyway just for confirmations sake if you got some of the bitter stuff you WOULDNT try to light it on fire??
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Nah.]
That would be a waste of perfectly good bitter chocolate.
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spoilers then youve got truckloads of that shit coming up on the horizon
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and before you go off on some other tangent about how obvious i am or whatever let me just say this isnt like
step one of some weird courtship ritual ok
[wow he is immediately regretting these words he is sending out, but they're already out there so now he can only keep going down this road]
like just for the record in case you were thinking of cracking that joke
just
dont
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You've found the key to unlocking my cold black heart. You don't have to be so defensive now~
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ok jokes gotten way old now how do you even laugh at this stale shit
if you keep it up im gonna get to thinking youve got some weird preoccupation with turning this into a romantic thing on my part
like
i dunno man
pretty sure this says more about you than it does about me
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Does it?
[Look at all the fucks he gives.]
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it does
so i mean unless you WANT me to get to thinking this is some sort of wishful thinking on your part
like youre trying to gauge if ive got the hots for you and wanna slobber all over your crotch dachshund or whatever cause you dont want to make the first move yourself and end up looking like a chump if it turns out i dont like you like that
which i mean if thats what this is then i guess i cant blame you and im sorry ive gotta shoot you down like this but
if it isnt
then you should probably cut it out
[SERIOUSLY STOP IT IT ISN'T FUNNY]
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Relax.
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sinking so deep into a comfyass recliner youre gonna need a spatula to pry me loose
treading so far into chill zone i make the northern parts of canada look like the goddamn tropics
im plenty relaxed alright
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Dave seriously.
It's ME.
[You can't lie to him Dave it's impossible.]
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[wait fuck he probably shouldn't say that if he doesn't want to open himself up to that joke again]
like this isnt the exact level of unchill you were trying to fish outta me anyway
congrats you got it
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I'm just joking around with you. That's what FRIENDS do. Chill.
[Thank you for lifting his mood, Dave. Even if only a little.]
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yeah sure what is it
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Do you remember a while ago I told you about these two traitorous shitheels I went to school with?
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why
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[IT WAS, GARY.]
He's crazy and he's pissed off at me. So don't believe anything some chucklefuck named "Jimmy" tells you if you have the incredible misfortune of speaking with him.
In fact just stay the hell away from him and walk in the opposite direction if you see a neanderthal looking teenager lumbering around dragging his knuckles on the floor because he'll probably tackle you if you so much as look at him funny.
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is this a thing that just now happened??
him being here i mean and i guess you running into him
[a beat, and he adds:]
are you ok right now
like are you safe
he didnt try anything did he
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[God, Dave.]
He very nearly tried to knock my block off but I talked him down. He's strong but luckily he's dumb.
I talked him into a sort of...truce, for now. But we were friends once and I couldn't trust him then so who the fuck knows what that means.
Anyway, like I said, just stay away from him.
[This is honestly really annoying. Upsetting. Infuriating. In some strange turn of events Gary actually ended up trusting Dave. But even so, Petey pretty much followed Gary around everywhere until Jimmy showed up and he managed to sink his hooks into him. While he's aware it's extremely unlikely with Dave...
...As much as he hates to admit it, it's a concern. Why? Hell if he knows. Ever since Gary met Dave he's had to deal with a ton of shit, which Dave sometimes just went and made worse. Is the fact that he has his unwavering support important enough that he willingly let that all slide and continues to hang out with him? Maybe it's because, to Gary, that's like finding a fucking unicorn that shits rainbows. But why the hell should he care about this rarity when it's proven to be only semi beneficial? He calls him friend a little too easily these days. Is he starting to mean that?
Nah, nope. Dave is still useful in a way. That's what it is.]
But keep an ear out because he might be talking shit.
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youve got it dude
but just so you know im still pretty handy with a sword and shit
like that hasnt stopped being a thing while you were away or anything
so you dont gotta worry about him beating me up or anything
i bet i could take him
and
maybe even get him off your back if you wanted??
but if this is a thing youd rather figure out on your own i get it its cool
im here for you man thats all im saying
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