relaxfriend | IC Inbox for soulgemmed

[Leave it to Gary Smith to ensure that any relief Dave feels never, ever lasts for long. God, what a douche.

He opens his mouth. He thinks it's probably to say something like "can we just drop this," or even just "shut up." Instead, what comes out is...]

If I did, would you have said yes.

[Never let it be said that Dave Strider's number one enemy is not, in fact, his own mouth.]

[Gary shouldn't be surprised by Dave's ability to dig his own hole deeper and deeper. It's expected. It's just how much? It's like a game, really. How deep will he dig in the next minute? In the next second?

Gary purses his lips as if he's holding back laughter. It's a mock attempt, really. A second later and he bursts into a fit of snickering.]

Why do you ask that? Because I've been a little busy, lately? [His head cants to the side. He offers Dave a look of mock sympathy, as well as his tone.] Aw, you just needed me to check in? How precious.

[For a moment, Dave's mouth moves, but absolutely no sound comes out. He forms shapes, beginnings of different words, but ultimately he abandons every unfinished thought.

What the fuck does he even say to that? He could deny it, but would he be able to deny it convincingly? Signs point to no.]

Whatever, man. Can we just go, I'm pretty sure the store owner's got to have gotten pretty sick of our shit by this point.

[Were there any people in the store staring when he started laughing like a madman earlier? How about when he was crying? God, he dares not even look around him to see.]

[Well, someone does finally come by and pick up that hideous shirt Gary discarded a while ago. Brushing it off and giving the two an annoyed look as they sigh and bring it to wherever it was to begin with. Gary, however, pays the employee no mind.

His focus is still on Dave. They're not done. Though, after a moment, he does finally turn and begin walking out the store. He was once again made aware of the hideous clothing surrounding them. He wanted out.]

I can't believe you lured me out here with such a lame excuse.

I mean, it worked, didn't it.

[He's still tense and still feels slightly fatigued from that crazy emotional roller coaster he just went through, but he's managed to scrounge some semblance of his usual demeanor back into place. Thank fuck for his shades.

He wastes no time in following Gary out of that store, and it isn't until he's left it behind that his shoulders finally relax a little.]

[Boy Gary sure is laughing at everything today, isn't he? Okay, maybe not everything so much as everything coming out of Dave's mouth.]

I was bored. Trust me, it wasn't some incredible feat.

[Hands in pockets again, he turns to Dave once they're out of the store.]

Well? You got me out here. What now?

[Well, now that they've dropped the pretense that this is about the notes, there's no way in hell Dave is going to recommend scouring any of the other clothing stores here. Never again.

That just leaves two other places, really. A thought occurs to Dave, and he points a thumb towards the bakery and sweets shop.]

So I figure I'm probably not gonna be buying chocolates from Lilith again. [Because seriously, who would want to receive chocolates that were made by someone who kicked them in the face?] Do you wanna check it out.

[Gary inwardly cringes at her name, but outwardly refuses to react. He takes this pretending she's "nothing" business very seriously. Even if she's not around to be insulted by it.

That awkward text conversation they had about the chocolates pops into Gary's head. That had been something.]

Wow, Dave. You must be dedicated to winning me over with sweets still.

[He snickers like an asshole before going in that direction. Because even though Dave picks where they're going Gary still has to lead.]

[He saw that coming, but it doesn't grate on him any less when Gary snickers about it. He has to shoot a rebuttal back.]

I'd say my dedication pales to yours for regurgitating stale-ass old jokes.

[And now that he's gotten that out of the way, he follows quickly, trailing a few steps behind Gary.]

[Gary actually falls quiet for a moment instead of firing back with a retort straight away. He lets Dave think he shut him up for good this time, up until they're in front of the bakery.

He places his hand on the door, but before pushing it open he turns back to Dave with a smirk on his face.]

Glad to hear you admit your dedication, at least. I'm so flattered.

[God. Why the fuck does he subject himself to this?]

Careful. If you repeat it enough times, I'm seriously gonna get to thinking you've got some sort of hankering for my lap bastinado that you're projecting all over the fucking place like you've got the IMAX label stamped to your forehead - which, by the way, if that is a thing then dude, you should at least try to keep a lid on it when we're out in public, 'cause that's just embarrassing and there are children around.

Seriously, man, get a grip.

[UM.

Yeah, he's just going to clamp his mouth shut and scoot his way into that bakery now.]

[Gary follows behind looking as smug as ever. Keep digging that hole, Dave Strider.]

Wow, you keep insisting things like that about me and I'm going to start thinking you've got some kind of hankering. Seriously, this is the second time already, Dave. It's getting weird.

[Gary still shows no signs of being embarrassed, ashamed, or annoyed. Just really, really, amused.]

Yeah, well. I'm just responding to the like eight hundred and fifty eight times you've insinuated I've been making romantic overtures at you, so I'm just saying; if my two times is weird, what the fuck does that make that?

[He isn't looking at Gary anymore. He'll have an easier time keeping his cool if he doesn't have to see that smug goddamn expression.

Instead, he lets his eyes sweep over the different items that are on display; Gary doesn't like anything that's too sweet, so he doesn't bother to spare the cakes so much as a glance. The rest, though... There should be something here that'll suffice.]

[Without missing a beat, Gary answers his question even if he didn't want him to.]

Observant.

[That's all he says before he starts casually scanning all the sweets. Passing most of them; too sweet, too sweet, too sweet...etc.]

[Holy fuck. You know what? Fine. He'll shoot back his own one-word reply.]

Projecting.

[There, Gary. Fixed that for you.

As Dave puts his focus back on the task at hand, he's beginning to think that maybe he's out of luck. Cupcakes with frosting, cookies covered in sprinkles... He seriously doubts Gary will go for anything like that, and besides; the goal here is chocolate. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spots something that might actually do.]

...Hey. What do you think of this?

[He gestures to the macarons with a nod of his head.]

You sure are.

[Sorry Dave, but it is physically impossible for Gary to give up the final word unless it somehow fits into a more sinister plan.

He was turning his nose up at basically every sweet he came across when Dave calls his attention. He notes the "bitter" on the sign.]

Oh, you remembered.

[Snicker, and a shrug. Yeah, that shrug is his answer. That's helpful, right? Well it better be because he's getting distracted by some ugly looking cake decoration off to the side, which he sneers at indignantly. People pay for this crap?]

[WHY DOES HE HANG OUT WITH YOU.

After a brief moment of just wanting to flip Gary dual birds, Dave decides, "fuck it," and grabs a few boxes. He turns briefly towards the checkout counter, but then he notices Gary staring at that decoration.]

Dude, if you'd rather I buy that one for you instead, just say it straight out. It ain't a thing to be embarrassed about.

[From the expression on Gary's face and from, well, the fact that it's Gary, Dave knows that probably isn't actually the case.

But he has to get back at Gary somehow, and this is how he's opted to do it.]

[The sneer fades as Gary turns to Dave, a brow raised. Wow, was that a comeback of sorts? The upward twitch of his lips suggests that he's more amused by that than anything. Oh Dave. Oh Dave.

Maybe he should be impressed at how hard he's trying.

Nah.]

What's your obsession with showering me in gifts?

[He shrugs.]

What's yours with picking out my wardrobe?

[It's a control thing, damn. He should be grateful he's not walking around in a bunny outfit right now.]

I got you a hat once. On Christmas. Why are you always deflecting?

[The shirt doesn't count because you didn't wear it, you bunghole.]

[Just gonna ignore that question about deflection.]

You were also so invested in the idea of seeing me in that shirt you picked out earlier you tried to fence me into a store, so like, I'm just saying. The chocolate-gifting equivalent of that would be if I pried your mouth open and tried to force feed you like we were playing a reenactment of Se7en and you ended up being the poor fuck to get stuck with the role of Gluttony, so.

[Fuck you, it totally counts.]

[In a mocking, sing-song voice.]

Deflecting, Strider~

[Please did you think he was going to let that go?]

[Yeah, nope. Fuck this.

He's just going to turn right around with his macarons and throw his haul onto that checkout counter, without even acknowledging that.]

[Wow, look at that smug face Gary's sporting, hovering around Dave and looking at him as if he expects that alone will make him crumble into dust from lack of being able to keep it together.]

Silence is a form of deflecting too.

[Hah. This is hilarious.]

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