relaxfriend | IC Inbox for soulgemmed

[At that, it's like Dave's mind truly and completely comes back to the present, and before he even realizes he's doing it, he's begun to laugh.

The laughter comes out of him uncontrollably; strange, almost nervous-sounding laughter that Dave recognizes with slight horror. He knows what usually follows this type of laughter, knows that it has a way of transforming into something that most definitely could never be mistaken for laughter.]

I... really fucked up this time, didn't I...?

[The instinct to abscond and to abscond now, before his laughter could get out of control, pounds loudly in his head; but Gary's still standing between him and the exit, and he's just received the worst kind of reminder of what the consequences will be if he tries yet again to force his way past.

"What does it matter at this point," part of him says. It's not like Gary hasn't seen the worst there is to see of him, that he hasn't already ruined everything with this. It's not like seeing anything else would change anything at this point.

What was it that Gary had said not long ago? "It's like you forget how well I know you." Well, perhaps that had been less true than Gary thought it was when he'd said it; his reaction, his complete disgust at seeing that memory just now, that what's wrong with you, was proof of that.

But now it really is the truth, isn't it?

Just do it. Just shove your way past him, that voice in his head insists. But still there's part of him that doesn't want to, and his legs freeze up beneath him as he considers all the other things Gary might be able to see; a part of him that still, even when it thinks everything is already lost anyway, cares too much about what Gary would think of him and doesn't want Gary to see a moment of weakness.]

[Gary Smith was rarely ever confused by a reaction and the few times him was it was maddening. It made he act rash, and harsh, it made him needle at the person he was speaking to until they broke because Gary Smith didn't like being left in the dark. Dave was laughing. And then the laughing changed...and Gary couldn't imagine why.]

If you're talking about the stupid move you made just now, yeah.

[It wasn't even as bad as it could have been. Dave is the one making this so awful.]

You're acting like a lunatic, Dave.

[God, did he, looking back at that memory, actually regret what he did? Was Gary wrong about him? Was he just shittily trying to deflect that implication because it's true? He can't miss having that loser by his side after all of this, can he? No. He had won. Gary had won.]

You aren't answering--

[Dave's words ring in his ears, followed by his own. His reaction to that memory. Dave's reaction to Gary.

"What makes you think I'm down about that?"

"Pathetic."

The realization forces a heavy sigh out of Gary and a roll of his eyes. He drags a hand down his face. What an idiot. What an idiot.]

Why. Are you. So hopeless?

[Hopeless. At one time, when he and Gary had just met and Gary didn't yet know any better, Gary had thought of him as someone with potential. The contrast between then and now - a Gary who knew him and a Gary who didn't - really hurts, and it might have been the last little push needed to finally transition Dave's increasingly hysterical laughter into sobs.

He brings a hand awkwardly to his face, reaching behind the shades to shield his eyes as if, in doing so, he could hide what was happening from Gary. There's a part of him that's immediately resentful; you should have known things would end up like this. No shit Gary didn't actually know you half as well as he thought he did, because if he did, he would've ditched you a longass motherfucking time ago.

That's why he wears the mask, isn't it? Because if people saw the real him - the him who was so goddamn weak, who had failed to live up to every expectation that had ever been thrust upon him - none of them would ever give him the time of day. He's always known that on some level, and so he must have known he couldn't possibly keep this up with Gary; Gary, who was always too perceptive to truly be fooled by any of Dave's acting.

A voice inside him, already trying its best to cover up the hurt - to prevent the hurt by lashing out - says, fuck him. You don't need him anyway. You never did.

Dave needs to say something here. Something harsh and scathing. "I don't give a shit what you think," or "Guess for all your talk you couldn't actually tell jack shit about me, huh."

Instead, what comes out is:]

I lied to you.

[Tears.

There were Tears. Something Gary derived great joy in forcing out of someone. The ultimate reaction aside from blinding rage that he had gotten so deep under someone's skin, had been so right about something, forced them to see something they tried so to deny. It was a testament to his dedication. His ability to overcome others with his superior everything.

It didn't feel like such a thing as he stood here and watched Dave try to desperately hide away what Gary already knew was happening.

That is, until those four words came out of his mouth. An admission. Dave didn't try to run, or come back with something stupid in an attempt to get Gary to be the one to leave. He admitted something. And while Gary was about to tell him to stop blubbering - he was talking about Pokey when he had been so disgusted, now he wants to hear this. He has to hear this. Because Gary always had to force things out of people, even if he already knew what he was forcing. It was power. It was control. And the thought of it caused a swell of pride to course through him.]

Elaborate.

[Dave grits his teeth. He doesn't know why he just said that, and he doesn't understand why he isn't replying to Gary's command for elaboration with an emphatic "fuck you."

This... all of this... has gone way too far beyond what was supposed to happen, and he keeps replaying scenarios in his mind; how did things ever get to this?]

I... [Don't say it. Don't fucking say it. Don't give him shit.] ...didn't ask to come out here with you 'cause I wanted to scope the place out for notes or whatever. I just--

[The part of his mind that had been screaming at him to keep his mouth shut throws a mild tantrum; another part responds scathingly with, "what does it matter, he already knew that part anyway."]

I dunno, I guess I wanted to see you.

[And a part of him shudders in revulsion at how that sounds; at how weak-- no, pathetic it is to express such a sentiment out loud. The part where it was motivated by insecurity - by the fact that ever since Dave had contacted Gary about Dirk, Gary had stopped responding to his texts as regularly as he had before - goes unsaid, and Dave can only hope that he hasn't lost enough of his mind yet that he's even spilling that, even if he's for some reason opted to messily spill the rest of his guts uncontrollably from his mouth.

No such luck, unfortunately.]

I mean, we're supposed to be-- ["Bros" is the word he thinks he probably was trying to say here, but instead his breath hitches in his throat uncomfortably when he reaches it, as if to rebel against the idea. Maybe it was because of what that word had come to be associated with in recent events; of family ties that can't be broken, of two people that were currently at each others' throats for no good fucking reason.] ...tight, but all of a sudden it's like I don't fucking exist or I dunno, you've got a schedule jampacked so tight you can't even be assed to answer a guy and let him know you haven't up and gotten involved in whatever other hostage sitch they're gonna throw at us next or earned yourself a nice little vacation in some place nobody can reach or fuck if I even know with the millions of fucking ways people go missing in this town.

I... [Dave clamps his mouth shut, then opens it again. Then, as if straining himself to decide how he'd wanted to finish that thought or if that thought was even worth trying to finish, seems to settle on deciding to shut it again and keep it shut.]

["I dunno, I guess I wanted to see you."

He knew that already, but something about hearing Dave say it out loud...accompanied by tears...it's as if that's what he had needed. He knew exactly how badly Dave would react to Gary's intentional reduced texts, his "busy" schedule. He knew he wanted to make Dave hurt like...he hurt him? No, he hadn't been hurt. That was stupid. Annoyed, frustrated, slighted...there was something else, something that made him infuriated but he chose not to look too deep into. Instead he made up his mind that he would make Dave hurt. And it worked. He hadn't expected him to start crying at him, or pain at this level. But he did expect it.

He felt that same swell of pride from before. Along with...he doesn't know, happiness? Yeah, this made him happy. Not like when he kicks someone in the balls and brings tears to their eyes. Or when he ruins someone's week - or life even - with a single rumor. This was different, somehow. And he liked it. He really, really, liked it. The odd thing, though, that stood out to Gary more than he'd care for it to...was the thought in his head. He already knew he had Dave wrapped around his fingers. And since Bro arrived while he was incredibly paranoid about it at first nothing really changed. And yet, this right here, Gary feels like he needs. It just always seems like it's not enough. It wasn't enough that Dave attacked a dream of his own brother for him, or that burned every last bridge aside from him, or that even now...he still hasn't walked away from Gary, as if rooted to the ground before him.

It doesn't seem like enough when it should be.

But for now, it proved something that Gary had been worried about for a while. With every little "sign" that Dave could slip from his fingers...this brought Gary back to the reality that was their...whatever it is. Friendship, he guesses.

A small, but noticeable smile creeps to his lips. He debates his next words, if he should let him off this easy. But maybe this is something Dave earned.]

I was talking about Pokey.

[But he doesn't elaborate and instead opts for letting that sink in.]

[For a moment, it's like Dave sees the words leave Gary's lips, but he doesn't actually hear them. That smile on his face doesn't portend anything good, and he expects...

He expects some mocking comment, or some declaration that Gary never wanted to see Dave again, or...

His mouth hangs a little in disbelief, and the sudden rush of conflicting emotions that hits him once he realizes what Gary just said to him is almost dizzying. There's the relief, the elation that comes from realizing that he was wrong; that he wasn't being cast aside, that it was a misunderstanding. Then his face pales in slight horror once he realizes what he's just done - those embarrassing admissions, those tears - for absolutely nothing.

In the end, the only thing he can manage in response is a quiet, awed sound.]

Oh.

Oh.

[Gary echoes with a raise of his brows. How easily he was able to reduce Dave to the point of tears, and then bring him back again with just a single sentence. He felt elated, proud, good.

The smile widens until his lips part, laughter bubbling out before turning into a guffaw.]

You thought I meant you? Didn't I already tell you that you did the right thing, Dave?

[Gary had said that, it's true. Dave still remembers how elated he'd been then. How those were the words he'd wanted to hear most of all, some reaffirmation that he wasn't in the wrong so that he didn't have to keep replaying those events in his mind at night, unable to sleep from the guilt of casting someone out on the streets when to do so was to put them in harm's way.

Dave slept a lot better since then, but still there was a part of him that thought that Gary only said those those words because he didn't really know what happened. He hadn't full understood the circumstances surrounding Dave's severance of that friendship because Dave purposefully didn't touch on all of the circumstances, because Dave had framed it in a way that left out certain parts. He hadn't physically seen, with his own two eyes, the way hateful way in which Dave had treated Pokey; and once he saw those things, he would surely be disgusted.

But... he isn't?]

I...

[Those aren't fears that he can give voice to, so instead he fishes through his mind for some adequate response, trying to not let Gary's laughter get to him even as his face starts to flush in embarrassment.]

Look, your power threw me off, alright?! Not like it's every day you suddenly find yourself getting tossed headfirst back into an old memory you hadn't even thought about in ages.

[The laughter had died down leaving Gary with the same look as before. Though the happiness loses its effect seeing as how it's laced with his usual smugness. Dave was embarrassed. Predictably. And it was great.

He shrugs. And just like that his body language reverts to normal, as if this episode didn't just happen. That doesn't mean he's letting it go, however.]

What a mess you made. All you had to do was ask me to hang out. You know, like normal?

[Nope. Definitely not letting it go.]

[Leave it to Gary Smith to ensure that any relief Dave feels never, ever lasts for long. God, what a douche.

He opens his mouth. He thinks it's probably to say something like "can we just drop this," or even just "shut up." Instead, what comes out is...]

If I did, would you have said yes.

[Never let it be said that Dave Strider's number one enemy is not, in fact, his own mouth.]

[Gary shouldn't be surprised by Dave's ability to dig his own hole deeper and deeper. It's expected. It's just how much? It's like a game, really. How deep will he dig in the next minute? In the next second?

Gary purses his lips as if he's holding back laughter. It's a mock attempt, really. A second later and he bursts into a fit of snickering.]

Why do you ask that? Because I've been a little busy, lately? [His head cants to the side. He offers Dave a look of mock sympathy, as well as his tone.] Aw, you just needed me to check in? How precious.

[For a moment, Dave's mouth moves, but absolutely no sound comes out. He forms shapes, beginnings of different words, but ultimately he abandons every unfinished thought.

What the fuck does he even say to that? He could deny it, but would he be able to deny it convincingly? Signs point to no.]

Whatever, man. Can we just go, I'm pretty sure the store owner's got to have gotten pretty sick of our shit by this point.

[Were there any people in the store staring when he started laughing like a madman earlier? How about when he was crying? God, he dares not even look around him to see.]

[Well, someone does finally come by and pick up that hideous shirt Gary discarded a while ago. Brushing it off and giving the two an annoyed look as they sigh and bring it to wherever it was to begin with. Gary, however, pays the employee no mind.

His focus is still on Dave. They're not done. Though, after a moment, he does finally turn and begin walking out the store. He was once again made aware of the hideous clothing surrounding them. He wanted out.]

I can't believe you lured me out here with such a lame excuse.

I mean, it worked, didn't it.

[He's still tense and still feels slightly fatigued from that crazy emotional roller coaster he just went through, but he's managed to scrounge some semblance of his usual demeanor back into place. Thank fuck for his shades.

He wastes no time in following Gary out of that store, and it isn't until he's left it behind that his shoulders finally relax a little.]

[Boy Gary sure is laughing at everything today, isn't he? Okay, maybe not everything so much as everything coming out of Dave's mouth.]

I was bored. Trust me, it wasn't some incredible feat.

[Hands in pockets again, he turns to Dave once they're out of the store.]

Well? You got me out here. What now?

[Well, now that they've dropped the pretense that this is about the notes, there's no way in hell Dave is going to recommend scouring any of the other clothing stores here. Never again.

That just leaves two other places, really. A thought occurs to Dave, and he points a thumb towards the bakery and sweets shop.]

So I figure I'm probably not gonna be buying chocolates from Lilith again. [Because seriously, who would want to receive chocolates that were made by someone who kicked them in the face?] Do you wanna check it out.

[Gary inwardly cringes at her name, but outwardly refuses to react. He takes this pretending she's "nothing" business very seriously. Even if she's not around to be insulted by it.

That awkward text conversation they had about the chocolates pops into Gary's head. That had been something.]

Wow, Dave. You must be dedicated to winning me over with sweets still.

[He snickers like an asshole before going in that direction. Because even though Dave picks where they're going Gary still has to lead.]

[He saw that coming, but it doesn't grate on him any less when Gary snickers about it. He has to shoot a rebuttal back.]

I'd say my dedication pales to yours for regurgitating stale-ass old jokes.

[And now that he's gotten that out of the way, he follows quickly, trailing a few steps behind Gary.]

[Gary actually falls quiet for a moment instead of firing back with a retort straight away. He lets Dave think he shut him up for good this time, up until they're in front of the bakery.

He places his hand on the door, but before pushing it open he turns back to Dave with a smirk on his face.]

Glad to hear you admit your dedication, at least. I'm so flattered.

[God. Why the fuck does he subject himself to this?]

Careful. If you repeat it enough times, I'm seriously gonna get to thinking you've got some sort of hankering for my lap bastinado that you're projecting all over the fucking place like you've got the IMAX label stamped to your forehead - which, by the way, if that is a thing then dude, you should at least try to keep a lid on it when we're out in public, 'cause that's just embarrassing and there are children around.

Seriously, man, get a grip.

[UM.

Yeah, he's just going to clamp his mouth shut and scoot his way into that bakery now.]

[Gary follows behind looking as smug as ever. Keep digging that hole, Dave Strider.]

Wow, you keep insisting things like that about me and I'm going to start thinking you've got some kind of hankering. Seriously, this is the second time already, Dave. It's getting weird.

[Gary still shows no signs of being embarrassed, ashamed, or annoyed. Just really, really, amused.]

Yeah, well. I'm just responding to the like eight hundred and fifty eight times you've insinuated I've been making romantic overtures at you, so I'm just saying; if my two times is weird, what the fuck does that make that?

[He isn't looking at Gary anymore. He'll have an easier time keeping his cool if he doesn't have to see that smug goddamn expression.

Instead, he lets his eyes sweep over the different items that are on display; Gary doesn't like anything that's too sweet, so he doesn't bother to spare the cakes so much as a glance. The rest, though... There should be something here that'll suffice.]

[Without missing a beat, Gary answers his question even if he didn't want him to.]

Observant.

[That's all he says before he starts casually scanning all the sweets. Passing most of them; too sweet, too sweet, too sweet...etc.]

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