relaxfriend | IC Inbox for soulgemmed

dude what are you talking about
stop being vague its irking me
im dealing with my own shit too

[He can't even be assed to use punctuation right now.]

ok look
look im gonna be straight with you do you remember how on halloween we did all that shit with the stink bombs and firecrackers and everything and do you remember that one network post i made you know the one you agreed with and that was how we met and we exchanged numbers like do you remember the contents of thatpost

[dave calm down this is barely decipherable]

dave you're sounding like a girl right now
yes i remember i dont have the memory of a goldfish
im going to need you to get to the point and make it as coherent as possible because i am literally doubting the amount of sanity i have to decipher your language

what whoa fucking uncalled for dude im just tryin to make sure were both on the same page
anyway do you figure maybe we pissed somebody off with the shit we pulled
like
somebody whos in good with the heart
or maybe the heart itself??
who knows maybe the thing doesnt have a sense of humor or much of a tolerance for halloween pranks

unfortunately i have no idea how to read a stupid rock so i dont know
maybe what you said that day and me agreeing with you pissed it off but we can't be the only ones
or maybe it just gets off on this kind of thing. thats more likely

what did it do to you

Edited 2015-11-03 02:30 (UTC)

are you seeing weird shit right now

wait
holy fucking shit you think its punishing us for calling it on its shit
is that what youre saying???
oh my god
i
think i need to lie down and consider this for a sec
is what id say but im already lying down

also define weird shit
are...
are YOU seeing weird shit right now??

well let me pose you a question
if you were an evil overlord would you allow insubordination to go unpunished?

well SEEING weird shit would imply that said weird shit isn't tangible but just trickery of the mind
i however just accidentally conjured a weird and very tangible chair that looks like it's going to devour my soul if i sit on it
did that happen to you?

[Well it's a throne but. Details.]

jesus christ
stop making sense its seriously making me lose my shit

ok well
no evil chairs but
everywhere i go theres fire and everything i try to drink fucking evaporates on me before it even touches my lips

so we got different punishments

know your enemy
even if it drives you a little mad
not that we know shit about this enemy but its a theory and its more than nothing

are you setting fire to the town as we speak?
how bad is it
if i leave my room now will i step into a raging inferno
i swear if i find a way to break that gem i'll shatter it into millions of pieces, find a way to get my cat here just so i can feed the pieces to him and then let it shit its shards all over waverly bay

ok
ill uh
keep that in mind
even if it basically sounds like youre saying we should drive ourselves a lil mad for practically no reason seeing as we dont really know anything here

ok its not THAT bad
if it were dont you think i wouldve warned you about that first thing
the fires are pretty contained
to me
its bullshit on so many levels man you have no idea how hard it is to do anything when youre setting little localized fires every time you walk a step
anyway id be 100% behind this plan of yours but i heard breaking the gems not really a good idea
at least not until we can figure out how to turn our bodies back to normal

i was being facetious dave jesus

unfortunately this is going to be one of those things where you have to exhibit an inhuman amount of patience before getting anywhere near it

it has to show some kind of weakness eventually. they all do